葬儀・終活コラム
遺族・喪主のマナー
通夜と葬儀で喪主が行うこと
葬儀は突然やってきます。喪主として通夜や葬儀に臨むとき、予め何をすればよいのかわかっていれば、落ち着いて対応でき、慌てずに済みます。今回は、事前の準備・参列者へのマナー・式中にやるべきことをご紹介します。
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【もくじ】
通夜の準備で喪主が行うこと
花の順番を確認
通夜の段階で到着している供花や供物の順番を確認します。供花や供物は、故人と縁が近い順に祭壇脇から並べます。「供花は奧、缶詰などの盛篭は手前」「受付脇にも供花を置く」など地域の風習や習慣及び式場の決まりがある場合もあります。葬儀担当者によく確認しましょう。
席順を確認
親族の席順を決めておきます。故人と血縁が近い順に、家族単位で座るのが一般的です。受付が始まる前に親族を式場へ集め、座ってもらいましょう。葬儀の担当者が案内してくれます。
受付の準備
受付の準備を行います。香典帳や芳名帳、筆記用具、香典返しや会葬礼状などが揃っているかを確認しましょう。また、受付の世話役に挨拶し、受付の流れを確認、共有しておきます。
僧侶へ挨拶
僧侶が到着したら、葬儀担当者や式場スタッフの誘導に従い、僧侶控室へ挨拶に伺いましょう。「今日は、よろしくお願いします」といった簡単な挨拶で問題ありません。
通夜で喪主が行うこと
喪主焼香
僧侶による読経の後、他の参列者に先立って喪主が焼香を行います。席を立ったら参列者と僧侶に一礼してから祭壇前の焼香台に進み、焼香します。焼香が終わったら、席に戻る際にまた僧侶と参列者に一礼します。
喪主挨拶
通夜式が済んだら、司会役の案内により喪主挨拶があります。通夜の場では、参列へのお礼を述べ、通夜振る舞いや翌日の葬儀の案内をして挨拶とします。
通夜振る舞いへの誘導
通夜式が閉式になったら、参列者を通夜振る舞いの会場へ誘導します。通夜振る舞いでは、一口だけでも箸をつけることがマナーとされています。「お急ぎでなければ、供養のためにもぜひ」と言って誘導しましょう。
香典引き渡し、香典返しの数の把握
通夜振る舞いが始まる前、あるいは終わった後に受付役から香典を引き継ぎます。香典返しの数を把握して、翌日以降の葬儀で足りなくなりそうであれば葬儀担当者に追加の相談をします。
葬儀の準備で喪主が行うこと
供花・供物の順番を確認
受付が始まるまでに、供花や盛篭など供物の順番を確認しておきます。新しく到着した供花により順番を変更する必要がある場合は会場担当者に伝えます。
弔電の読み仮名と順番を確認
弔電奉読の際、司会が間違えないよう名前に振り仮名を振っておきましょう。また、故人に縁の近い人の弔電から順番に読み上げるため、読む順も確認しましょう。順番に迷うかもしれませんが、司会が「順不同」の案内を入れますので安心です。
柩に入れたいものを準備
基本的には、納棺の時に故人と一緒に持たせたいものを柩に納めますが、納棺後でも持たせたいものがあれば、最後のお別れで柩に納めることができます。葬儀後、最後のお別れをするため、柩に入れたいものを準備しておきましょう。燃えるものに限られます。出棺まであまり時間に余裕がない場合や、既に釘打ちの儀などを行っている場合、最後のお別れの時間がとられない可能性もあります。事前に確認が必要です。
お布施を準備
僧侶へお布施の準備をします。お布施の袋は、葬儀担当者が用意してくれる場合もありますが、そうでなければあらかじめ「御布施」と書かれた袋を購入しておきましょう。
受付準備
通夜同様、受付の準備を整えます。香典返しの数を確認しておきましょう。
僧侶へ挨拶
僧侶が到着したら、控室へ挨拶しに行きます。この時点ではお布施を渡す必要はありません。葬儀が終わってから改めて挨拶に行き、お布施を渡します。
葬儀で喪主が行うこと
喪主焼香
読経と弔辞・弔電披露が終わったら、喪主が祭壇前へ進み、焼香を行います。喪主焼香の手順は通夜と同じです。
喪主挨拶
全ての人の焼香が終わり、読経が済むと喪主挨拶です。葬儀の際の喪主挨拶では、参列のお礼に加え、故人にまつわる思い出などを話すのが一般的です。
まとめ
葬儀、通夜ともに準備することが多いですが、儀式そのものにおける喪主の役割は、喪主挨拶がメインとなります。原稿を手元に置きながら読み上げても問題ありませんので、堂々と挨拶を述べましょう。喪主は、故人亡き後、家を守っていくべき存在。親族や一般参列者に、しっかりとした印象を植え付けたいものです。
福島
