葬儀・終活コラム
参列者のマナー
弔辞のマナー〜困った時に役立つ弔辞マナー集〜
突然弔辞を頼まれた際に困ってしまう方は多いのではないでしょうか？今回は、弔辞作成のポイントや弔辞の奉読の際に知っておきたいマナーをご紹介します。
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【もくじ】
弔辞の作成
弔辞とは、故人と親しかった人が、その霊前に捧げるお別れの言葉です。弔辞の文面は、故人に向かって第二人称で呼びかけてはいますが、実際に聞いているのは、遺族や列席者です。ですから、むやみに感傷的な言葉を並べたり、個人的な話題に固執することは避け、故人の生前の業績や人となり、エピソードなどをまとめるのがよいでしょう。
弔辞作成のポイント
- ポイント1 亡くなったことへの悲しみを述べる。
- ポイント2 故人の人柄や仕事ぶりなど、具体的な例をあげて讃える。
- ポイント3 故人と自分との関係や思い出を述べる。
- ポイント4 遺族に対するお悔やみと励ましの言葉。
- ポイント5 残された者の責任と決意など。
- ポイント6 故人の安らかな平安を祈り結ぶ。
弔辞分の留意点
弔辞の長さに決まりはありませんが、原稿用紙2～3枚程度、時間にして5分以内に終わる長さにまとめるのがよいでしょう。一般には口語体の文章で書きますが、格式を重んじる場合には、文語体を用いることもあります。ただし、紋切り型の常套句は場面を考えて使いましょう。ほかにも弔辞を捧げる人がいる場合には、あらかじめ遺族にその人と故人との関係を聞いておくなどして、なるべく内容が重複しないよう配慮した方がいいでしょう。
忌み言葉に注意
忌み言葉は、遺族や参列者に不快感を与えたり、葬儀の雰囲気を乱したりすることがありますので、使わないのがマナーです。注意しましょう。
重ね言葉：不幸が重なると言われる
「重ね重ね」「返す返す」「皆々様」「たびたび」「いよいよ」「またまた」「しばしば」
継続や再来を表す言葉：不幸が長引くと言われる
「続く」「追って」「重ねる」「再び」
苦しみ・死を連想させる言葉
「９」「４」「苦しむ」
悪いことを連想させる言葉
「とんだこと」「大変なこと」「つらい」
直接的表現
ご生存中→ご生前、生きているころ→お元気なころ、死亡→ご逝去
宗派による禁句
仏式：「迷う」「浮かばれない」
神式・キリスト教式：「供養」「成仏」「冥福」
弔辞の書き方
弔辞は奉読後に祭壇に供え、最終的には遺族のもとで保存されます。
弔辞は大判の巻紙か奉書紙に、薄墨の毛筆で書くのが正式です。ペン書きでもかまいませんが、弔辞は遺族が長く保存しておくものなので、楷書で丁寧に書くようにしましょう。冒頭には巻紙の端から9～10cmほど余白を取り、中央に『弔辞』の文字を書きます。
これより5cm程あけて本文を書き始めます。巻紙の上下には2～3cmの余白を空け、行間は本文の文字1字分ぐらいとるとキレイに見え、読みやすくなります。本文を書き終えたら改行し、下げた位置に年月日を入れます。さらに改行し、年月日より下げて署名します。また、署名から6～8cmの余白をつけて切り落とし、切り落とした方から頭の方へたたみます。
上包みにする紙を広げ、折りたたんだ弔辞文を真ん中に置きます。上下とも9cm程の余白ができる大きさの奉書紙を使うとよいでしょう。 右が下になるように三つ折りで包み、上下を裏へ折り返します。表書きをして中央部に「弔辞」と書き、その下に間を空けて姓名を記します。
弔辞の奉読
弔辞の述べ方
- 司会者に呼ばれたら霊前に進み、まず僧侶、遺族席に一礼する。
- 遺影に向かって一礼する。
- 包みから弔辞を取り出し、開く。（→開き方：図参照）
- 両手で捧げ持つようにし、口の高さに差し出しゆっくりと読み上げる。
- 読み終わったら、もとのように上包みに戻し、表書きを霊前に向け卓上に置く。
- 遺影に一礼したあと僧侶、遺族席に一礼して席に戻る。
弔辞を読む際の留意点
弔辞は故人へ語りかけると同時に、その遺族や列席者にも聞いてもらうものです。ですから、耳で聞いてわかりやすい言葉や発音しやすい言葉を選ぶようにします。
- 落ち着いたトーンで静かに
- 一語一語かみしめるようにゆっくりと
- 心を込めて、丁寧に読み上げます
弔辞を読む際、あまり感情的になりすぎるのは好ましくありません。だからと言って、文章の棒読み、形式ばった調子でも困ります。人の心に届く弔辞とは、故人を慕い、敬い、弔う心のあり方が自然と表れたものではないでしょうか。
福島
