喪主のやること 〜Ｑ＆Ａ方式で解説〜

葬儀はいつ発生するかわからず、喪主になるのも、突然です。わからない事や戸惑うことがあって当然。さらに地域の習慣や風習などのしきたりは千差万別です。こうしたことがわからない場合、葬儀社に聞けば教えてもらえますが、できれば事前に全体を把握しておきたいものですよね。今回は、 喪主のやること をＱ＆Ａ方式で解説します。

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Q. 喪主はどのように決めたらよいですか？

喪主は、配偶者（妻もしくは夫）か長子（長男もしくは長女）、あるいは家を継ぐ子（長男もしくは長女以外の子ども）が行うのが一般的です。しかし、昨今の高齢化や家族構造の変化により、配偶者が喪主を務めるのが難しい年齢に達していたり、家を継ぐ子がいなかったり、故人に身寄りがないこともあるかもしれません。その場合は、「故人亡き後、家のことを取り仕切る人」を喪主としましょう。
また、喪主となる子どもがまだ幼い場合には、生前の故人を良く知っている人や、親族
のうち仕切り役を買って出てくれる人などを代理人とし、「世話人代表」としましょう。
故人に身寄りがなく親族のうち最も血縁が近い人であっても「喪主」という言い方が望ましくない場合には、喪主を立てずに葬儀を取り仕切る人を「世話人代表」とするのも一案です。

Q. 喪主として最初にやることは何ですか？

喪主として最初にやることは、「連絡」と「葬儀日程の決定」の2つです。これを並行して行います。臨終後、駆けつけてほしい人に連絡をして、安置場所へ案内しましょう。また、葬儀社と菩提寺に連絡を取り、葬儀日程を決定します。その後、葬儀に来てほしい人たちに日程の連絡を入れます。

Q. 喪主の一番大事な役割を教えてください。

一番大事な役割は、故人を弔う儀式の遂行です。葬儀の日程を決めることはもちろん、葬儀会場や祭壇、遺影、棺といった多くのことについて葬儀社と打ち合わせをし、予算を見極め依頼しなければなりません。

打ち合わせ時に家族や親族、近隣など多方面からアドバイスを受けますが、全てを聞き入れていると、葬儀費用が膨らんだり、故人の希望に反してしまう可能性があります。喪主は葬儀について一切の決定権を持ちますので、喪主と故人の希望を叶えられるよう、そして予算に見合うような葬儀を行う努めがあります。

Q. 喪主の通夜での役割は？

喪主の通夜での役割は、「喪主焼香」「喪主挨拶」「通夜振る舞いへの誘導」の3つです。通夜式では、喪主が他の親族や参列者に先立って焼香を行います。これを「喪主焼香」といい、席の立ち方から焼香の回数、戻り方に至るまで作法があります。なお、全て葬儀の担当者が式前に案内してくれるので安心です。

また、通夜式の最後には「喪主挨拶」があります。参列の感謝を述べ、次の葬儀日程について案内するのが一般的です。故人の最後の状態や病状、思い出など述べることもありますが、葬儀でも同様の挨拶の機会があるので、通夜では手短に済ませます。こちらも例文があるので、参考にすると良いでしょう。

通夜が終了したら、通夜振る舞いへ参列者を誘導します。都合がつかず通夜振る舞いに出られない参列者については、見送りを行います。

Q. 喪主の葬儀での役割は？

喪主の葬儀での役割は、「喪主焼香」と「喪主挨拶」の2つです。通夜の席と同様に、喪主は他の親族や参列者に先立って焼香を行います。その後、喪主挨拶を行います。葬儀の喪主挨拶では、故人に成り代わって参列への感謝を述べ、故人の思い出などについて触れ、最後に喪主として参列への感謝を述べて終わります。

式が終わったら、出棺に立ち会わない参列者の見送りを遺族代表で行います。その後、出棺前のお別れを行うため、葬儀場へ戻ります。

Q. 喪主の火葬場での役割は？

喪主の火葬場での役割は、「喪主挨拶」と「収骨」です。柩が炉に入った後、火葬場へ来てくれた親族に対して手短に挨拶を行います。遺骨が炉から出てきたら、遺骨を骨壺に収める収骨を行います。収骨は、火葬場が用意する長い箸で、喪主から順番に遺骨を拾い、骨壺に収めるのが一般的です。

まとめ

以上のように喪主の役割はさまざまで、わからない事や戸惑うことが多いと思います。ですが、全面的に葬儀担当者のサポートがあるため、落ち着いて対応しましょう。不明点があれば、いつでも担当者へ質問しましょう。
基本的な役割を頭に入れておいて、後は現場で臨機応変に対応するのが大事です。
大事な人を送る最後の儀式ですから、滞りなく喪主を務めあげたいですね。