喪主や施主の決め方〜喪主は長男とは限らない〜

喪主と施主の違いをご存知でしょうか。「 喪主 は聞いたことがあるけれど、施主ってどういう人を指すの？」と疑問を持つ人もいるでしょう。葬儀には、喪主と 施主 の両方を立てることがあります。喪主と施主とはどう違うのか、それぞれの立て方、役割の違いなどについて解説します。

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喪主と施主の違い

葬儀において、喪主とは遺族・親族の代表的な存在を指し、葬儀社との打ち合わせを行ったり、遺族代表として最初に焼香をしたり、通夜や葬儀のときに挨拶をしたりするのが仕事です。一方、施主とは葬儀の費用を負担する存在を指します。しかし、施主は喪主との役割分担によっては、葬儀を具体的に動かしていくこともありますから、単にお金を出すだけの存在ではありません。

一般的な葬儀においては、喪主が施主を兼任します。つまり、一般的には、喪主とは遺族・親族を代表し、費用を負担し、葬儀を取り仕切る存在です。しかし、ときには喪主と施主が違う葬儀もあります。主に、次の2つのケースで見られます。

合同葬や社葬の場合

経営者などが亡くなると、遺族と企業が合同して葬儀を行う合同葬となることがあります。この場合、喪主を遺族とし、施主を会社とするケースが見られます。また、会社側が一切を取り仕切る社葬を行う際も同様です。施主として葬儀を取り仕切る会社の中でも、代表的な存在として「葬儀委員長」を立てるのが一般的です。

喪主が年少であり、サポート役として施主が必要な場合

両親が事故で亡くなり、小学生の子どもが遺されたケースなど、どうしても未成年が喪主を務めなければならない場合があります。こういったケースでは、金銭的なことの管理ばかりではなく、葬儀の場を取り仕切る人物が必要です。親族を代表して、血縁的に近い立場の成人が施主となり、喪主をサポートすることがあります。費用の管理を行うだけで、実際には費用負担をしない場合は、「世話人代表」という名称になることもあります。

喪主は「今後、その家の連絡窓口となる人」

故人亡き後、家長となる人が喪主になるのが一般的です。故人が一人暮らしだった場合や喪主となるべき配偶者が高齢であるなどの事情があるときは、長子など血縁が濃い人が喪主を務めます。
喪主を選ぶ基準となるのが、「今後、その家の連絡窓口となるのは誰か」という考え方です。喪主は葬儀の最後に挨拶をし、参列者に「今後も変わらぬお付き合いを」とお願いします。参列者にとっては、「新しくこの家の代表になるのは、この人だ」と認識する機会です。
また、「故人の娘2人がどちらもお嫁に行っている」など、なかなか喪主が決まらないこともあるかと思われます。そのときは、葬儀後、香典をくださった人に香典返しを送ったり、法事の手配をしたり、お墓の管理をしたりする人は誰なのかを具体的に考えてみましょう。

施主は「費用の管理をし、喪主のサポートをする人」

喪主に金銭管理能力がない場合や、社葬や合同葬のように遺族以外が費用を出す場合は、施主を立てます。施主は費用面での管理をするほか、段取りの面で喪主をサポートするのが役目です。サポートの範囲は、喪主の特徴や葬儀のあり方によって変わってきます。
例えば、喪主が未成年であれば、施主は費用面での管理のみならず、参列者への連絡、僧侶や葬儀社とのやり取り、近隣のお手伝いの手配などについても喪主をサポートする必要があります。遺影の選択や喪主挨拶の文面作成といった面においても、アドバイスをする必要があるでしょう。

一方で、社葬や合同葬の場合、喪主と施主の役割分担は比較的明確です。喪主である遺族は儀式に関わることを担当し、施主である会社は参列者に関わることを担当します。喪主が担当する儀式面には、遺影や祭壇、柩、花の選択、菩提寺とのやりとりなどがあります。施主が担当する参列者関係には、参列者となる取引先などへの連絡、届く花や弔電の順番管理、受付をはじめとした案内役や香典管理のための人員手配があります。

まとめ

一般的な葬儀では喪主と施主が同一人物であることがほとんどですが、施主と喪主を別に立てる場合は、最初に役割分担をきちんと決めましょう。代表が二人いる現場で、世話役や葬儀社がどちらに相談すべきか迷ってしまうと、トラブルが生じる恐れがあります。また、喪主と施主は必ず打ち合わせに同席し、もし一人で何かを決める場面があれば、後で情報をシェアするのが大事です。