喪主がとるべき4つの行動と心構え〜 葬儀準備 の進め方〜

葬儀は突然やってきます。喪主になったら葬儀の準備を速やかに始めなければなりません。しかし、対応を間違えると、二度手間になったり、参列者に失礼になったりして後味の悪いものになってしまいます。故人を気持ちよく送る為に喪主がどう 葬儀準備 を進めたらよいか、失敗しないためのキーになる4つの行動を軸に解説します。

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1. 参列者リストの作成

喪主が葬儀の準備を行うとき、まず必要なことは参列者リストの作成。親族の家族構成と人数把握、一般参列者の属性（会社関係、近隣関係、故人の友人など）と大まかな人数の把握を行います。人数がある程度決まると、規模に適した会場をリストアップできます。
香典返しや料理の数も決まり、実際にかかる総額に近い概算を知る事ができます。
参列者リストは、あらかじめ作成しておけばいざというときに慌てずに済みます。

2. 親族対応

葬儀の進行や役所手続き、遺体の管理などは、葬儀担当者の案内に沿っていれば安心です。儀式の準備や弔問客の対応で忙しくなり、意外に忘れてしまいがちなのが親族や手伝いに来た人への対応です。
特に遠方から参列する親族に対しては、宿泊先の手配や食事の世話、移動手段の提供など、きめ細かなサポートが必要になります。前述の参列者リスト作成の際には、遠方からの親族に注目して「宿泊」「食事」「車」をどうするか考えましょう。喪主の負担軽減の為にも、配偶者や家族内で役割を担当してもらうのも良いでしょう。

3. 迷わない

最近、「家族葬」ということで、香典や供花をお断りする葬儀を目にするようになりました。
もし、香典や供花、供物を辞退する意向を固めたら以降迷わないようにしましょう。
「香典辞退」を決めても、香典や供物を持参する人はいます。一人受け取ると、次の人から断りづらくその後なし崩し的に受け取る事になり、結局香典返しを用意することになります。
受付や記帳の際、香典を出された際にも、辞退する旨をはっきり丁寧に説明し、お断りしましょう。受付、家族にもしっかりと伝えておきます。
しかしながら例外もあり現金書留などで送られた香典は送り返せないので、その場合香典返しを送ります。

4. 葬儀の宗派とお墓

最近では、故人の意思で無宗教葬にしたいというケースも徐々に増えてきました。その際には「お墓」がどうなっているかを調べましょう。
先祖代々のお墓がある家であれば、菩提寺があるのが一般的です。菩提寺によっては、仏式の葬儀を行わないと納骨できない等、後々のトラブルに発展する可能性があります。
葬儀の宗派を決める際は、葬儀だけではなく、お墓のことも意識しなければなりません。

まとめ

喪主は、葬儀に関する一切を取り仕切る存在です。一度決定したことに対して途中で意向が変わってしまうと、参列者に混乱を招きます。慎重に準備し丁寧な対応を行いましょう。
地域の風習や習慣もあります。とにかく迷ったら、親族の年長者やご近所、菩提寺、葬儀担当者など、関係者に相談しましょう。よくコミュニケーションをとって、誰もが納得できる葬儀を行い、故人の最後を気持ちよく送りたいものです。